Seekers Relief

Angela, a 60 years old Brazilian psychoanalyst, wrote after reading some parts of this blog: The question I ask myself is if I am still a seeker, but it seems that I am talking about something that I do not feel so attached to anymore; it feels like a distant past of which I have rational memory but not physical nor sensitive. With this I think that being a seeker can be cured and that you only remember having been one when you go through existential crisis but you recover quicker. Sometimes what I feel is a certain anxiety as if I had to mess life up a bit in order to spice it up. But I also know the risks I am taking and I do not want to get lost in them again. It is funny that when this happens I dream about things that my father told me, like a phrase: “always leave with enough cash for a cab fare because if it gets ugly somewhere you can always come home”. Like this, I have other safe places that exist inside of me, in my dreams. I have not lost the gift of empathy. What has changed is that I can easily perceive what is mine and what belongs to the others. I can now easily detect what is mine and what is not. This is a relief because I no longer feel overwhelmed by the confusion. It is like I have this tool in my hands. Maybe this is a road to recovery; to be able to use one’s gifts in the best way for oneself. I no longer feel at the mercy of this trait, I use it when necessary and I abandon it when my rebellious nature seems to push me to be into trouble. 

Share

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

en_USEN